Fits of anger

Since I was little, many people have told me that the first impression I give them is this serious, closed-up persona. One might think I'm unfriendly, or too "cool" to the extent of being stuck-up. But time over time that same someone would come to realize I'm actually a pleasant, friendly, down-to-earth person, who is able to joke about the most UNFATHOMABLE things (Our little secret, people!). I kinda like this about myself. JY once mentioned that this personality of mine would do good as a "screening process", to screen off some of the people that I would probably not be able to get along with, leaving only those true gems of a friend.

Another thing I've prided myself of is the fact that I'd managed to mellow down my temper over the past few years, evolving into a somewhat milder version of me. Friends who have known me since my secondary school years couldn't agree more. Even my mom, who has known me for 23 years, said that I've not a little bit of "temper" in me left. However, it was not until lately, that she commented about my change in behaviour. Why the grouses and grumpiness and quick lashes of my tongue? Alas, I think this streak of hot-headedness in me has begun to rear its ugly head again.

I guess there's lots to blame for this change in me (for worse); I can start to blame the major people influences around me, the traffic in Penang, PMS... but I don't think that's the wisest approach to solve this problem. As if a message from God (or rather from Intel), I saw this passage in a bulletin today. And it really talked some sense into my head.

The 90/10 Principle by Stephen Covey

10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean?

We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be arriving late, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How?

By your reaction. You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

I guess its true that my reaction to a situation is what that counts. By not:
- freaking out/ playing rough in a traffic situation,
- controlling myself not to burst out in profanities whenever a driver/ motorist cuts my queue,
- maintaining my cool composure when someone speaks out at me,
- holding my tongue when I feel I need to lash out.

As it turns out, I'll only make myself feel like an ass after I scold someone. Afterwards. So I think by constantly reminding myself of these principles, I'll regain my happy, pleasant self in no time at all. :)


Ianfluenza said…
I've read Stephen R. Covery's '7 Habits of Highly Effective People' If you have time, you can give it a go too...

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