The Tempest

Every full moon, I turn into a werewolf
Hurting people beside me
Devouring everything in sight.
My temper comes like a midnight storm
Lashes out unwittingly
Lightning, searing all the innocents within range.

I found out that something weird happens to me every once in a full moon. Actually this is just testament to the fact that I already knew of so long ago. In just a short period, my emotions, sadness, anger or happiness fluctuate randomly to shoot up/down to reach a max/min level... I'd feel desperately sad, uncontrollably angry or ecstactically happy like I'm on a high. The usual me tries to be calm and collected all the time, sometimes even devoid of emotions... I am just not myself. Is there really a gravitational pull towards our feelings during a full moon?

It happened just so suddenly yesterday when I unintentionally raised my voice while trying to talk sense into my colleague... and he asked me, "Are you having your period?" This is not the first time in a span of a week that I've heard this question. And from a guy, too! In fact, this question so reminded me about the same question Shu Shan asked when I was throwing a tantrum during my biology lab in high school.

And I felt so helplessly sad and demotivated yesterday when I faced some issues and beratings from my senior (though it was cleverly directed towards the computer). I know I screwed up, and I felt damn guilty about it for wasting other people's time and mine.

The guilt really kicked in when I reached home, tired and sleep-deprived, and my mom called to ask how I was on the phone. Unwittingly, I lashed out at her with my sharp tongue. I really didn't mean to, but my emotions had taken over me like a great wave, pushing those sour words out of my mouth.

Afterwards, I decided it wasn't worth falling out with my parents just because I couldn't put a rein on my stupid anger. So I called back to make peace, and when I heard my mom telling me how worried she was about my stress... I finally understood that harsh words do not only hurt others, but they also do no good to yourself.

Comments

mysticmonkey said…
An angel whisperd your sadness to your mum so that she can call you and you did this to her....don ever do that again!!!!
Anonymous said…
Hi XW, Wee Cheng here. Just drop by to PAY OFF my toilet debts, in case you are not aware that i've just (again) USE your toilet (ops, i meant READ your posts :P).

Seriously, you shouldn't be so stressed out during your first year at work. Still long way to go, take it easy. Every juniors did mistakes and being told off by seniors, well, at the very least, i did (and still doing it now). Just stand on your feet, wipe off your tears and move on, no big deal, no hard feelings.

Anyway, i think you are doing great. Should be proud of yourself. Cheer up.

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