New Year, New Beginnings

As I type away at this blog post, I am reminded that my New Year just only started today when I am back at work after a long hiatus for my maternity leave.

How I spent my maternity break

As any new mother would say, time flies by so fast when you have a little baby on your hands. Not to mention a little toddler which needs your constant, undivided attention. Although I am blessed to have 3 months maternity leave this time, it still feels like "time is not enough" for me. After giving birth at the end of October, I spent the whole month of November in confinement. December went by in such a flurry - non-stop travelling to Melaka, to Slim River, to KL, to Ipoh and back to Penang to visit family and relatives and for church Christmas event. I was fortunate to have a little "family time", just the 4 of us, on New Year's Day to watch the fireworks from our condo. When January came, things slowed down a little and we got to spend a holiday in Legoland, just the 3 of us. And the last two weeks were just for me to enjoy and laze around at home before I got back to work.

Self-reflection and Challenges

On New Year's Day, while everyone was busy writing down their New Year Resolutions, I was just not in the mood to make any resolutions this year. I think what I am going to face this year are new challenges, to be able to overcome these hurdles would be an achievement in the sense.

Challenges:
- to strike a balance between work and family; juggling work, a baby and a toddler is not an easy feat.
- to breastfeed my baby past the 1-year mark,
- hopefully, to reduce my body weight to 56kg,
- to be disciplined enough to leave home for work between 8.30- 9am everyday,
- to be disciplined with my time management so I can cook for Hayley, and make sure she is on-time to attend her Tuesday music class and Thursday ballet class,
- to find a Sunday School for Hayley on Sunday mornings when we are in Ipoh.
- to quit shouting and berating hubby, instead I should step up and be more disciplined and pro-active in tackling matters.

As I was self-reflecting during my free time, I realized that I had been too held captive by my emotions (during work, dealing with colleagues, and dealing with family). I let people's words and actions get to me, and I spent a lot of unnecessary anger, anxiety and wasted tears on those issues. And I took out my anger on my poor hubby at home. For 2019, I vow not to be hijacked by those issues again. I should not care so much on what other people have to say, and focus on doing my own work. I really have to learn how to let it go, for my own sanity of mind, and for my children's peace and happy times at home.

So, my two keywords for 2019 are : "discipline" and "let it go"!

Bible Verse

I pray that I will turn to these two verses to calm myself down whenever I am in anxiety. I should learn to be grateful that God has blessed me with two lovely children, and turn my negative emotions into positive emotions and fuel to push forward!

“Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:30-31

Let's look forward to a better 2019!