Crazy weeks ahead

Just a short post for today. To detail down how crazy I'm feeling right now.

I saw Shirly's Facebook status today "The begin of 'Crazy' week...". Well, it's the same for me too. I have an outstation conference in Jeonju this coming weekend where I am a presenter. Rehearsal this Thursday. Digital Wireless lab on Wednesday. And 3 final exams happening next week - Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. And my final DSP assignment due on Tuesday.

Actually, I can't really take the pressure. It's tough being a student again. It's like I'm totally okay on the outside but I'm crumbling to bits inside. And nobody really knows what's happening to me. Sometimes I'm okay, sometimes I'm not. I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep well last night, but I did. Even I don't know what's happening to myself.

Feeling depressed. All alone. Nobody's here for me not even my loved one. He just disappears into thin air when I really needed him. I'm disappointed. But I know I have to go forward, with or without him. Abandonment and disillusionment. Friends really can't see what's on the inside. I wanna tell, but I don't feel like uttering a word. It's like I'm surrounded by so many, yet I'm alone, and helpless.

Go forward. Step by step. This is what I'm telling myself. People's words don't matter. They stab at me like a knife and I just gently push their hands away, covering my bleeding heart. I move forward.

**Updates!!

He had flowers delivered to my lab today. Pink and yellow gerbera daisies, my favourite flowers. :-) Thank you dearie, I know I should try to control my temper...

Korea's bouquet packaging looks like this. I don't really like the packaging - looks a bit outdated, ajumma-ish, and the poor gerbera daisies are crushed together! :-(

Comments

Meng Hui said…
People who don't know you well might think that the "he" refers to your beloved chuah teong chee.. haha~ since he would be a great help in completing your DSP assignment if he is there...
Meng Hui said…
Btw, you still need to rehearse for the presentation? I thought u should be already very experienced in presenting your thoughts.. keke~
Xweing said…
Very funny.. ha ha ha.. CTC is so past-tense lar.. KAKAKA... btw i got somebody else to help me w DSP assignment now.. heehee!! :P

Btw, rehearsal is your beloved biao jie's idea.. hahaha
keep on fighting dear...
btw, I've just find ur blog and its great.. love it,love it..
Xweing said…
Thanks, Uli... do drop by once in a while ;-)
josze said…
ya i know how it feels like when you needed him and he could never be ALWAYS there and u get upset anyhow. but he is SO SWEET! send flowers to your lab summore!
A Bookaholic said…
awww...ur hubby so shweeeet and thoughtful! :) and love ur blog's new look! ;)

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