I saw Shirly's Facebook status today "The begin of 'Crazy' week...". Well, it's the same for me too. I have an outstation conference in Jeonju this coming weekend where I am a presenter. Rehearsal this Thursday. Digital Wireless lab on Wednesday. And 3 final exams happening next week - Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. And my final DSP assignment due on Tuesday.
Actually, I can't really take the pressure. It's tough being a student again. It's like I'm totally okay on the outside but I'm crumbling to bits inside. And nobody really knows what's happening to me. Sometimes I'm okay, sometimes I'm not. I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep well last night, but I did. Even I don't know what's happening to myself.
Feeling depressed. All alone. Nobody's here for me not even my loved one. He just disappears into thin air when I really needed him. I'm disappointed. But I know I have to go forward, with or without him. Abandonment and disillusionment. Friends really can't see what's on the inside. I wanna tell, but I don't feel like uttering a word. It's like I'm surrounded by so many, yet I'm alone, and helpless.
Go forward. Step by step. This is what I'm telling myself. People's words don't matter. They stab at me like a knife and I just gently push their hands away, covering my bleeding heart. I move forward.
He had flowers delivered to my lab today. Pink and yellow gerbera daisies, my favourite flowers. :-) Thank you dearie, I know I should try to control my temper...
Korea's bouquet packaging looks like this. I don't really like the packaging - looks a bit outdated, ajumma-ish, and the poor gerbera daisies are crushed together! :-(